is it really wrong not to have it???

well..

last nite i had made a decision..

that really will affected my daily life..

the issue here is to have "STUDY GROUP" or not?

actually..

since first year..

i didn't join any study group..

becoz i'm not used to it..

so..

during my final year..

i'm scared that i'll not survive alone..

the,i joined a study group consist of 8 person..

sounds too many,right?

initially..

i felt like force to do it..

i keep talking to myself to adapt with them..

they would like to do daily study group..

usually stat at 8 / 9.15 pm..

and it usually ends at 11.30 / 12..

it's really time consuming..

i dun know why i feel like that..

at last..

after asking his opinion..

he said " dun force urself if u can't after trying for 7 weeks"

just quit it and study alone..

i dunno why it's really hard for me to adapt with others style..

1. sometimes i really slow to understand what they discuss..

2. sometimes i'm too fast till i feel why others still dun understand?haha

3. too many interruption..everyone want to talk

4. i can't read note that prepared by others becoz i didn't believes where is their source

5. it is really dragging and time consuming

6. i'm not really remember if i listen to their presentation unless i read it myself, so it is double work for me..

7. i dun like to wait for others..punctuality is very important for me..

8. sometimes i just dun understand why they still want to clarify simple thing that they can easily find in google

9. i dun like when i feel confuse after discussion for the things that i really understand before

10. i dun understand why they take things too complicated while i'm only look it as a simple thing

11. and i feel sorry for those who can't catch up us

enough rite my reason?hahaha

u are complaining too much..

urm..RM144.00

i dun know why..

i feel it is very expensive..

144 only for lens..

if it is in sungai besar..

it will be onyl half from that..

and i only do multicoated lens..

i want transition lens..

but here is very expensive..

if in sungai besar..

i can get frameless spec + transition lens = RM300

but here the cheapest is RM500++

oh no..suddenly i really miss my hometown..

if i can,

i want to go back to sungai besar..

unfortunately..

i'm not going back next week..

becoz of MECCA..

so i need to do spec here..

as i always had headache..

i want to share something..

before i decide to spec in optical88..

i went to england optical and focus point..

at england optical..

hurmm..it takes at least 3-4 days..

i can only pick up by thursday or friday..

the prices RM150++

at focus point..

the fastest only by monday..

the price RM150++ also..

but i ask for transition lens

it cost RM600..expected la..

it is double price..huhu

i show my broken spec..

i said that it is transition lens..

the promoter didn't trust me

she ask her fren to confirm it..

and then she shock after i'm telling that it cost only RM300 for lens and frame..

besides,she keep persuading me not to use frameless..

so what?

ilove frameless..

so just let me..

it is my money..

she keep showing me the half framed

then she ask me to buy the branded spec

i insist that i dun want becoz i'm student

i dun have such amount of money just for spec..

then..i left the shop..

till i found optical88

i love it becoz it only takes one hour..

the moral of the story..

LOVE YOUR SIGHT~

a pleasure weekend but..............

last nite i slept late..

not so late la..

it's only 2am..

i was watching ILUSI online at tv3.com.my

well,i love this series..

i dun know why..

i always think that i had experienced what she had gone through..

sometimes i will feel i'm the luckiest one..

but sometimes, i really hate this what we called "ESP"

to be safe and comfortable to live my life..

i had suppress it..

really suppress it till i almost forgotten it..

but still..i will have some dreams on what will happened in future..

but sometimes i dunno whether it is true or not..

so just wait n see..

when the time comes,

i know that it's true..

BUT..

i felt guilty becoz i dun study last nite..

in the evening i went to my cousin house in puchong..

then in the nite i watch the series..

then i slept late and woke up late..

and this morning i feel very lazy to study..

i really love this "COMFORT ZONE"

plz nisah..

get out from your comfort zone..

no sense of belonging~

ermm...should i say it directly?

well..after almost a year with them..

i still dun have sense of belonging to them..

yeah it true that i'm only belong to myself..

but afterall..we still dun develop "rapport"

and afterall..i feel it is useless..

how should i say?

sometimes i feel it is really wasted..

i know it is good to revise all the knowledge that u have..

but if everytime is repeatition,

somehow i felt very boring and dun want to listen anymore..

it is true that sometimes i just skip it..

but most of the time i really can't make it..

it is not benefit for me although it gives benefit to others..

i dun feel free to talk..

you say that we all like "family"

but in reality..you make the gap..

until this moment..

i feel "detach" from u all..

not even attaching..

should i continue?or should i stop?

if i stop, there will be BIG controversy..

my story will be HOT as usual..

u all loves to talks about me..

eventhough u not mention..

but be caution..i can read and know what is in ur heart and ur mind..

each one of u..no one can escape..hahaha..

but becoz i can feel it..i feel uncomfortable to all of u..

u look really hypocrite to me..

dun pretend!!!

i really hate that..

i'm sorry that i know u are pretending..

last day~

hari secara rasminya tamat O&G

punye la malas

tapi aku tetap pg wad

clerk patient..

amik darah..

pastu examine patient wtih breech..

clerk patient APH with cervical ectropion

then clerk case unstable lie

tetibe aku rasa mcm cuak..

at the end of the posting

mcm byk je lagi yang aku tak tau

rasa mcm lg banyak belajar

lagi aku tak pandai

ish3..apa nak jadi ni..

hope everything will fine:):)

result exam end posting o&g

tadi ada postmortem exam..

punyala aku risau nk tido mlm td xleh sbb pk lulus ke x..

alhamdulillah..lulus..

MCQ pass

OSCE pass quite well

counseling pass

but i know i can do better..

cuma sebab terlalu nervous..

membuatkan aku jadi thought block..

ada certain things xingat..

pas abes masa baru ingat..

tula exam punya penangan..

you should work harder..

you should be more confident..

believe that u can do it..

bersyukurnya aku padaMu..

disebabkan hari ni aku anhedonia..

jadi aku telah buat benda2 yang xberfaedah..

tapi benda2 xberfaedah ini telah buat aku reflect diri aku balik..

antara benda2 xberfaedah yang aku da buat ialah..

aku pegi tengok gambar kawan2 aku dekat Fb..

nauzubillah..

semoga aku dijauhkan daripada segala benda seperti itu..

bagaikan tidak percaya..

melihat ada sahabat yang dulu bertudung kini rambut nya bebas untuk dilihat sesiapa..

sedih tatkala aku melihat gambar2 itu..

ada juga yang dulu naqibah waktu aku sekolah..

yang dulunya selalu memberi nasihat ke arah kebaikan..

tapi kini..

hanya berbaju lengan pendek..

berbaju ketat..

tudung diselempang sehingga terdedah dada..

begitu drastik perubahannya..

malah aku bertambah sedih melihat akak usrah aku..

yang dulunya pakaiannya tertutup..tapi kini..

tudung labuh entah hilang ke mana

hinggakan tudung terdedah dada..

bukanlah aku hendak mengata atau mempersoalkan orang lain..

tapi ternyata mnusia itu bisa berubah bila2 masa sahaja..

yang menyedihkan lagi pabila orang itu adalah org yg aku hormati dan sanjungi

alhamdulillah..

aku masih dikelilingi sahabat yang sentiasa menegur aku jika pakaian ku dirasakan tidak sesuai..

dia juga sering memberi pendapat dlm pemilihan bajuku..

aku masih punya keluarga yang menitik beratkan pemaikaian yang sopan..

kesimpulannya..memang sume tu bergantung pada diri sendiri..

tapi sedikit sebanyak orang disekeliling kita mempengaruhi cara kita berpakaian..

kadangkala..aku hampir tergoda dengan hasutan syaitan..

timbul di dalam hati ku ingin berpakaian mengikut trend skg..

contohnya selendang yg mcm2 design dan corak..

aku amat tertarik..

tapi hanya akan ku pakai selendang sekiranya aku jumpa selendang yg cukup besar..

kadangkala..teringin juga ingin memakai kebaya..

tapi..keburukannya sungguh banyak..

lalu aku padamkan hasrat itu..

aku selesa dengan pakaianku sekarang..

aku bersyukur kerna telah dididik begini..

namun kadangkala aku terasa hati..

ada segelintir orang menegur pakaianku..

katanya aku bertambah seksi sekarang..

cerminlah diri anda dulu sebelum menegur aku

bukan aku tidak mahu menerima teguran..

tapi aku merasakan pakaian aku sudah cukup sopan..

malah jauh lebih sopan dari dia yang menegurku..

susah kita mahu berkata..

setiap orang punya persepsi yang berbeza..

tapi setelah aku tanya pendapat sahabat2 yang lain..

masing2 mengatakan aku tidak pernah berpakaian seksi..

apa yg ku pakai sudah cukup sopan..

semoga Allah memberi aku istiqamah dalam melakukan kebaikan..

semoga sahabatku diberikan hidayah untuk berjuang menutup aurat..

apala aku merapu malam2 ni..

tula..anhedonia punya pasal..

sekarang aku nak bersemangat balik..

malas2 ni hasutan syaitan..

aku kena berjihad untuk melawan perasaan ini..

Allahuakbar!!!

FLORIA 2010

BERTEMAKAN Keindahan Tropika, Festival Bunga & Taman Putrajaya (Floria) 2010 pada 10 Julai hingga 18 Julai ini dijangka mendapat sambutan menggalakkan.

Bertempat di Pesisiran Tasik, Presint 2, Putrajaya, festival berkenaan menyaksikan pameran koleksi heliconia (bunga sepit udang) antara terbesar pernah diadakan dalam suasana taman.

Malah, bunga berkenaan turut mewarnai setiap sudut Floria 2010 seperti di zon floral alley, floral avenue, gerbang bunga, meadow, taman permainan kanak-kanak dan taman penggiat dan penanam bunga heliconia atau di zon festival.

Floria 2010 dianjurkan Perbadanan Putrajaya dengan sokongan Kementerian Wilayah Persekutuan dan Kesejahteraan Bandar.

Presiden Perbadanan Putrajaya, Tan Sri Samsudin Osman, berkata festival itu adalah kesinambungan Floria 2007 dan 2009 yang penuh warna warni.

Beliau berkata, Floria 2010 menggambarkan kecantikan alam semula jadi yang diserikan dengan pelbagai bunga-bungaan yang unik dalam suasana taman sebenar.

Antara tarikan lain Floria 2010 ialah taman pameran reka bentuk terkini arkitek landskap dari dalam dan luar negara.

Sementara itu, pavilion bunga berhawa dingin dijangka menarik perhatian pengunjung. Merangkumi laman heliconia eksotik, laman antarabangsa, laman Twilight, arca bunga, hiasan meja makan, dinding flora, sudut pereka dan pameran lukisan cat air heliconia. "Buat pertama kali, laman Twilight menggunakan kesan penataan cahaya," katanya.

Bazar Taman pula menawarkan pelbagai kelengkapan taman termasuk perabot dan tanaman hiasan yang menarik.

Tidak ketinggalan laman seni yang menjadi sudut khas kepada pencinta seni lukisan dan kraf. Penyertaan antarabangsa pula dijangka menjadi tumpuan pengunjung dengan penghasilan reka bentuk taman dan bunga-bungaan kreatif.

Pameran dibuka dari jam 9 pagi hingga 10 malam (Isnin hingga Khamis) dan 9 pagi hingga 12 tengah malam (Jumaat hingga Ahad).

Oleh Hartini Mohd Nawi

tini@hmetro.com.my

2010/07/03

aku pegi pesta bunga ni ngn angah,mak, dina, anum n saiful..

pegi sabtu aritu 17/7/2010..

ni first time aku pegi..

sgt terpesona tengok bunga..

da la aku mmg sgt suke bunga..excited giler

terkhayal aku sebentar..tp bunga tulip xde la..

hahaha..dok berangan nak bunga tulip je..

ak ambik byk gle gmbr bunga..tp nanti2 la aku upload..

yg pasti floria mmg sgt best bg pencinta bunga..

hari2 terakhir posting O&G

pg td ada cpc O&G...

pasal placenta previa with accreta..

tp masa aku sampi je da separuh da..

sbb arini terbangun lewat..

then g OT..

arini memang aku rasa malas je..teruk kan???

aku tengok je la OT..xassist..

tp tgk 3 case je..

tu pun sampi pukul 2..

aku kuar g mkn..

nasib baik aku xtunggu..

OT finish pukul 4..

mau pengsan kelaparan..

the g cover bed as usual..

baru je aku cadang nk balik..

tp tiba2 dengar kena hantar logbook arini..

masa aku tau tu da pukul 4.15ptg..

kelam kabut la aku pegi cari sign doctor..

tula..

sape suruh..sebelum ni tangguh2 mintak sign..

kan da susah..

pastu aku hantar jela walaupun ada yang xsign lg.

then aku balik je la bilik..

odw blk terserempak dgn dia..

hehe..susah benar nk jumpa bile da final year..

esok ada postmortem exam..huhu..cuaknyer

apala aku merapu time exam tuh..huhu

hope everything will fine..

i love to learn O&G..

and i love more if we have more teaching..

pejam celik pejam celik..

bagaikan xpercaya aku kini berada di penghujung posting O&G..

banyak pengalaman dan ilmu yg diperolehi sepanjang posting ini..

menambahkan keyakinan diri..

tapi..

dalam fikiran aku masih ada persoalan..

mampukah aku menjadi seorang doktor yang kompeten?

persoalan itu sering kali bermain di fikiranku..

apa yang penting adalah usaha kita sendiri..

aku sgt berharap aku lulus exam tadi..

supaya keyakinan diri aku bertambah..

semalam exam teori..

yg aku ingat pasal abdominal pain,bleeding in pregnancy, HRT, HIV,syphilis, management

pastu tadi osce

dapat pasal CTG and partogram

pastu confirm diagnosis of menopause and counseling on HRT

boleh la jugak perform..

cuma xperfect je la..huhu

harap2 lulus..

emotionally unstable~

i really need time for myself..

i'm tired..

i'm exhausted..

i'm burn out..

i'm stressssssssssssss!!!

i want to enjoy my life..

plz dun suffer..

u choose ur life..

get rid all the stressor!!!!!