fav food..hehe

This pregnancy i had too many new fav food n drinks..hehe
Mana la bdn xnaik..

Lemon ice
Green apple kasturi+asamboy
Strawberry milkshake
Mango milkshake
Sirup ros+cinnamon flavour
Caramel choc ice blended

Golden crisp chicken kt secret recipe
Quarter meal kenny roger , macaroni cheese
Nasi ayam penyet
Homemade salad
Cheesy wedges kfc
Kerabu mangga

Haih..gatal g tulis ni
Da terliur2..haha

sabar..sudah hampir ke penghujungnya~

Dengan izin Allah..
Kita akan dilindungi..
Waiting for the final part..
Persoalannya..
Akan berakhir kah kisah derita ini?
Apakah sebenarnya maksud ayat
"rahsia tetap rahsia"
Tp andai ble tahu rahsia itu jd lebih derita,
Maka biarlah ia rahsia selamanya..

Menunggu last person blk..
Menunggu misteri selanjutnye..
Everything fresh in my memory

InsyaAllah..
Pasti ada pelangi..
Setelah ribut petir melanda..
Hanya padaMu ya Allah
Aku bergantung padaMu
Berilah kekuatan utk aku terus sabar menahan derita ini..

i'm not that fussy

Ada jgk nk kena fire ngn aku pg2 ni..
If i call u,
I mintk tlg off kn branula je..
Sbb apa? 
Sbb da thrombose n inflammed..
Eh, tu pun byk tnye..
Siap ckp lg,
Doctor ada antibiotic
Tunggu pakar round tgh ari..
Gle ke apa? 
Ko nk tunggu temp spike?
Da la berdenyut2 sakit even xbuat pape..
Off je la..
Pastu tnye lg, 
Doctor xkisah ke nnt kna cucuk lg?
Eh..
Whatever it is,
Kalo da thrombose,
Sure kna off..
Argghhh..aku nk angin da ni

Da la smlm buat aku angin jgk..
Siap tnye lg,
Doctor mmg xnk amik ye mentholfor inhalation ni?
Eh3..
Mcm mana nk amik
Kalo dari pg sampi ptg,
Mintak air pnas pun xdpt..
Hampeh..
Too bad
Ur service too slow..

Eh,buat aku sakit hati la..
Buat penat laki aku bayar,
Korg treat mcm ni je..
Kalo korg nk kata aku ni byk songeh pun,
Suka hatila
Da kitorg bayar..
Ko buat je la keje

Haih..marah2..

recovery..i guess..

Waiting for my love to come..
Kalo x admit kt sini,
Sure xbuat scope..
Td bt scope br nmpk ada pus kt maxillary sinus..
Situ la rupenye source of infection..
So iv augmentin started..
Feel better
No documented fever since admission
Tunggu nk repeat fbc esok..
Nk jgk blk since mak nk dtg..
Xtau la if kna keje..
Senang je ..
Kalo collapse,diorg resus..
Tp kekuatan diri sndri la..

Fikir blk..
Da tiga bulan berturut2 aku ada mc..
Tp sumenye reason lain2..
Tp bkn aku blh jangka pun sakit ni..
Dugaan..
Seksa sakit ni..
Da la branula susah..
ALLAH,
Berilah aku kekuatan..
Aku xmampu nk lalui sume ni..
Hanya padaMu aku bergantung..

yes..i'm dying..

Admitting myself to private hospital..
I'm crazy..
I can't stand anymore..
So painful..
Eventhough i know it is so painful to be poke so many time..
But for now,
This is the safest place for me..
Until everything end..

Oh Allah..
I can't stand this hidden pain..
The pain that other person can't see..
Only me that can feel..
I could say my house is haunted..
Oh Allah..
Please save my husband n son..
Please protect them..
Don't let them feel whatever i feel..
Becoz it is too painful..

I'm sorry..
Tomorrow my family will come..
But i am in the ward..

life must go on..

Alhamdulillah
Setelah sekian lama..
Sikit demi sikit semakin baik..
Hanya Allah yg tahu..
How difficult my life..
Until at one point..
I almost gave up..
To face the pain..
To face the unexplained symptom that i have..
No one could believe it if they never witness it..

Bear in mind..
Semuanye kuasa Allah..
Ini semua dugaan hidup..
Bersabarlah..
Pasti ada manisnya..

tatkala teringat zaman HO

Housemanship?
Kalo dgr je,rs mcm terrible..
Tp bkn sume posting xbest..
Contoh posting yg best mcm surgery, peads n a&e..
O&g mmg paling xbest..
Medical best tp bz gilerrrr..hehe
Ortho bkn la xbest, tp aku xsuke dfu..haha
It is amazing..
Ble fikir blk,mcm xsangka u can go through..
The best part, abes ho aku ada sorg anak..
Sesuatu yg xpenah aku fikir dlu
And the toughest is going through eod oncall 36 hours in medical..
Hohoho..
Kalo skg bg aku buat, xde stamina da..
Hahaha..
Part yg paling penuh dgn adrenaline rush adalah ms active call nicu..
Gile palpitation pgg telefon puaka tu
Muahahaha..
Tp really enjoy it..hehe

So, ble ada org ckp it is hard to go thru ho,
Yeah,definitely..
It is not easy..
Full of adventure..
Yg xsuke kalo kna maki / word abuse by mulut2 longkang..
Smpi skg aku ingt lg every single word..
Mcm nightmare pun ada..
Mcm mna la mulut diorg blh jahat sgt..
Aku ni nk ckp org lembab pun xsampi hati..
Tu yg xbest tu..
Nk marah ho pun rs mcm dlu aku pun xsuke kna marah..
So aku cuba utk xmarah..hehe
Budget baik la sgt..haha

Apepun, bersabarlah..
Kalo xleh, luahkn la pada sape2..
Blh giler simpan stress sorg2..

tatkala dugaan datang melanda..

Apa nk buat ni..
Rasa nk amik cuti panjang..
Rasa nk setelkn everything..
I'm suffering..
Really suffer..
I want to be a normal person..
I'm dying..
I'm losing my hope..
Everyday i said to myself..
Just ignore whatever you feel..
Go to work..
There is nothing will happen..
But u know..
Fighting ur own feeling is the most difficult thing
Controlling urself..
So that others can't control u..
Hang in there please..
Be strong..
Coming soon..
U will see the rainbow..
This is only for a while..

Oh Allah..
Aku lemah tanpaMu..
Berapa lama lg..
Aku sendiri pun xtau..
Hanya meredah apa saja di depan mata..
Aku mahu hidup seperti org lain..
Tp kalo ini mmg sudah termaktub..
Aku redha..
Hidup yg penuh dgn pahit..
I'm suffering..
Really suffer...

I feel like i'm dying~

Allahuakbar...
Hanya Allah mengetahui apa yg aku rasa..
Everytime i fall asleep,
I will have nightmare..
Mimpi yg penuh dgn misteri..
I'm tired having life like this..
Bilakah sume ini akan berakhir?
I dun feel like a normal person..
Something is going on..
But i dun know what it is...

Oh Allah..
Please give me strength..
To live my live..
I feel so helpless...
I dun know to whom i should share..

Thanks to my friend which my ex roomate..
For hearing my problem
She is the one who always with me whenever i'm having this problem during university life..

Sometimes i couldn't stand the pounding heart without any reason..
I feel so restless..
How should i explain..
Nobody will understand it..

But bear in mind..
Whoever look down to me..
She or he will know if  they are in my shoes..
So, never judge me..
Becoz u are not in my shoes..

Whatever it is.
Listening to manzil,ruqyah n azan really makes me feel better..
Makes me feel calm..

Oh Allah..
Please end everything as i'm not so strong to face it anymore..