mencari semangat yang hilang..

entah mengapa..

diriku hilang semangat..

begitu payah rupanya menghadapi kegagalan..

padahal hanya kegagalan yang kecil..

sangat kecil..

tula kalo xpernah gagal..

benda sekecil tu pu meruntuhkan semangat

tapi rupanya..

setelah berborak2 bersama kawan2..

barulah ku tahu..

mereka juga rasa apa yang aku rasa..

barulah aku tahu bahawa aku x keseorangan..

mereka juga menghadapi apa yang aku hadapi..

mereka juga rasa apa yang berlaku tidak adil..

tapi apa kami boleh buat..

terima sahaja apa yang terjadi..

walaupun pada hakikatnya kami mampu..

biarlah apa yang sudah terjadi..

pandanglah ke hadapan..

memang benar kata dia..

jika pandang ke belakang,

apa yang kita dapat??

kita xkan dapat merubah apa2 yang telah terjadi..

biarlah apa yang terjadi itu sebagai pengajaran..

sebagai ingatan yang kau perlu berusaha lagi..

tapi berkata di mulut memanglah mudah..

sedangkan hati yang melalui saat ini berasa sangat jerih..

tapi itulah hakikat yang perlu diterima..

pandanglah ke hadapan..dan terus maju ke hadapan..

semoga tabah dengan apa yang di tempuhi pada masa akan datang..

work load~

too much work to do..

this is all becoz i'm delay all my work..

hurm..that's ur own fault..

tonite i need to submit family case study and journal critic..

family case study almost finish..
however, i didn't do anything about journal critic..
just found it..
gonna to read and do it after terawih..

tensionnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...
too much thing to do

thinking of tomorrow~

tomorrow is my 2nd mini cex..

mixed feeling..

i'm scared to face it..

however..

today is a very good day..

which i learn a lot..

and at least i can answer when my doctor ask question..

so that i know my brain is actually functioning..

sometimes i dunno what i study..

i dunno what info that will stick in my mind..

pray for my success tomorrow..

i wish i can go home with happy heart..

no more sadness and failure..

take the past failure as a challenge..

Peace^_^

alhamdulillah..

today was very eventful day..

i glad that everything went smoothly..

i learnt that to have a good day, i must:

* think and looking forward for bright day

* dun forget to pray to Allah to have a good day

* dun feel down for anything that u failed to do b4..

in the morning..

i attend CME(continuous medical education)..

today's topic is about weight gain/ weight loss

then i waited for teaching..

from last nite,

i talked to myself that to build more confidence in myself,

i need to volunteer especially during teaching..

i'm glad that at last,

i could find my old spirit..

previously i'm the one that would like to volunteer in everything..

but i dunno why lately i'm so passive..

i'm happy that i could do it back..

i learned a lot..

doing respiratory examination..

and there is positive finding..

she had pneumonia..

then i do ear examination..

she had left perforated tympanic membrane

after that i do nose examination..

there is bilateral enlarged anterior turbinate..

because she had allergy rhinitis..

i take it as revision..

then go back to college..

since one of my frenz who promised to accompany me to do home visit cannot go,

so i decided to go alone..

although i know there may be dangerous for me..

but this the only time..

becoz i already promise to my patient..

so i drive alone to warisan cityview..

not far away..

easy to find..

luckily i 'm not lost..

after the home visit..

back to college..

then prepare to do tutorial..

and this evening..

i decided to join IFTAR at prof har's house in alam damai..

i hope everything will be blessed..

hard day~

i dunno why..

lately i feel so hard..

my life turning up and down..

after a long time i dun feel the 'failure'..

it is hard for me to recover..

although it is only a small failure..

i still feel the pain..

i still can remember each word..

i still can imagine the situation..

why it was so hard for me to forget it?

too many issues to think

1) home visit..at last i can't go to my patient's house..why i'm too nice to my friend?just bring her and not really care that she is 'using' u?

2) reflective writing..i wonder if prof didn't get my submission becoz she didn't reply it

3) study group..again this is issue come..i dunno..i really can't find study group but 'she' looks like forcing me to find the new one..plz..i can't adapt to it..

4) saman parking..hurm..wasted my money rm50 becoz parking in the wrong place near PPP bandar tasik selatan..

5) why i'm anhedonia to study?hahaha..not totally anhedonia..but i'm tired of studying..burn out..

6) mini cex..i scared that i will fail again..but be positive nisah..u can do it..Allah always with u..

7) i need to find new strategy to study..i'm bored..i want the most efficient one..

ok..it's nearly maghrib~

FAILED~

hurm..sad..very2 sad..

i dunno why..

it was a very simple case..

it happened again..but..

it was out of my control..

why the doctor listing the question that i already ask?

she said that i never ask..

when i heard that,

i know what actually going wrong here..

plz nisah..

dun be sad or cry..

u know that u have the knowledge..

just pray and pray..

everyhting will be ok..

an eventful day~

last nite i sleep after solat terawih..

i had bronchospasm..

i dunno what kind of allergen makes trouble for me..

end up wit piriton..

after taking piriton..

i collapsed..

although i told him to wake me up at 12am,

but i refuse to wake up becoz i was very drowsy..

in the morning..i

i still feel very drowsy..

walking subconsciously waiting for the bus to KK batu 14..

then meet one of my frenz,she is laughing at me..

becoz the way i walk..

i just feel irritated wit her..

i'm feeling not well but she is laughing at me..

hurm..i just dun like the scene..

then suddenly meet another my frenz..

everyone keep saying that i'm the one who said our exam is today..

i really blurred..

as far i remember, i never say that..

it is just becoz one of my frenz ask,

what if your exam tomorrow?

i just answer " relax la,take it easy"

the other frenz who heard this misinterpret that our exam is today..

that was not my fault..

i dun even mention our exam is tomorrow..

i dunno who spread the news..

then during walking to the bus,

someone step on my "kain baju kurung"

and i fall..

fortunately i manage to grab something to hold

then go to KK..

and we got teaching..

i'm sorry that i slipped my words..

i said "tak laku" to one of my fenz when he said he is out of market

i dun really want to condem him,

but it just a joke..

since he also always say such things to me,

but i'm not taking it seriously..

then i need to perform cranial nerve examination..

it is not smooth after long time ago i didn't practice

i hate this..

but it is ok for the purpose of learning..

the doctor give us one contact number who sale jubah..

we went to her house..

it was really nice n beautiful jubah..+ affordable..

but i dun have budget to buy jubah..

so, i just looking at it..

back to ppukm..

back to room for a while becoz i need to take nap..

i had headache..

then go to seminar presentation..

at first i feel that our seminar is not so good,

but at the end doctor tell that it is very good..

at least, i feel a big relief..

and now i'm worry about our exam tomorrow..

too many to cover..

psychiatry,ortho, ophthal,ent,etc..

since i never go through this posting,

this add up some more anxiety..

becoz i dunno how the exam will be conducted..

pray for me!!!!

hopefully we will pass the exam..amiin

Ramadhan..we meet again~

oh Ramadhan..

alhamdulillah..Allah give me opportunity to me you again..

i really love this moment..

as i enter Ramadhan..

my heart feel more calm..

totally in peace..

no more pain..

no other "alien" that will disturb me..

i really appreciate this month..

the only month that i can feel real life..

no wonder..other people having fun in their life

becoz i always wonder..

why my life is not like the others?

the answer is,

Allah doesn't want me to forget him..

the pain He give make me always remember Him..

Oh Allah the Almighty..

not my fault~

hurm..someone really makes me feel irritable..

i'm sorry that i had to be rude to you..

but u also need to watch out ur words..

if u dun take care of others sensitivity issues,

so i also no need to care for u..

well..i guess sometimes i need to be straightforward..

or else u will not understand and repeat the same stupid things..

urm..now i know everyone feel that i'm treat others too kind till the other "step on my head"(haha..dunno in english what)

the first thing that makes me feel irritable is

you repeat the same question which the others had beed explaining on it..

i know everyone want to go back early..

but if u can't focus,

u will waste more time and finally u go back late..

for me,it's really show that u are not focusing

i feel irritated for it..

then,u keep saying that,let me put hte dialogue..

i dun care if u read this, becoz this is my blog..

"ala,mcm mana nak buat?da xde masa.."

'sempat jela..byk masa lg'

"ko xde study group boleh la"

'so what?kalo ada study group xleh buat ke?"

"nanti nak semayang terawih lagi"

'jangan nak salahkan semayang terawih plak'

u keep complaining and find excuses..

i really hate this..

i really can't accept people who use pray or islamic ritual as an excuse..

do you really pray all the time?

do you really go to surau everyday?

why all of sudden u need to use this excuses when u have to do some work?

really irritating right?????

i'm so sorry that i had already talk "rude" to you..

but u also rude to me..

fair enough rite?

i hate end of my good day wit this stupid things..

help me!!!!

huhuhu.i hate this kind of feeling..

i'm feeling anxiety for no reason..

sometimes also tension and stress..

very blurrrrrrr...

everything mixed up..

i dun really "love" this posting..

i dun really can catch up the management..

it is not completely different..

but i'm not used to this posting style..

i dunno how deep i should know..

what i know is everything we need to know..

all of this make me feel i'm not ready yet..

professional exam is only within 5-6 months..

and yet i feel i've done nothing..

why i feel very bad?

so many things to read till i dunno what to read first..

and at last..

i read nothing and sleep..

that's how stress i'm..

afterall..

actually today we are free..

nothing to do..

but i went to PPP in bandar tasik selatan..

since i dun get patient for home visit..

well..after many rejection..

i feel so scared and lost my confidence to approach patient..

i almost gave up..

but then..

i tried to a approach this middle age man..

he was very forthcoming..

fortunately, he gave the permission for home visit..

at least, one of my target today was accomplished..

then,

back to my room..

searching for all my exam result from 1st yr till now..

since next week i have mentor mentee session..

finally, i found out all of them..

i'm very tired..

feeling not well..

last nite i got bronchospasm after eating kcg tanah..

i had noise breeathing and difficulty to breath..

however there was no rhonchi..

my frenz want to bring me to A&E..

but i refused..

becoz i just go there last week..

i decided to take piriton only..

then gradually feel better and i fall asleep till morning..

this evening i want to go home..

hope everything go smoothly..

and finally..

it's friday again^__^

u never know bad i feel.....

well..today i feel very bad..

i feel like want to scold someone..

dun u ever realize that all of u never concern what is really the matter?

it seems that u force me..

i know that i had been absent for many time..

it was unintention..

i do really have good reason for it..

becoz i need to prioritize which one is more important..

family comes first..

do i have to say NO to my mother just to satisfy all of u?

do i have to say NO to my younger siblings just becoz of ur program?

i also need some rest..

lately i always being not well..

it is difficult to explain here..

but believe me,

if u are in my condition,

u will not able to attend all the classes without any MC..

alhamdulillah i managed to go through all of these..

the pain only Allah knows..

u can never imagine it until u experienced it..

am i burnout???

urm..i dunno why..

lately i felt low mood and anhedonia towards study and reading books only..

hahaha..but,i love the practical works..

well..as u know, medicine is long life learning..

eventhough i know that our professional exam is really near (Mac 2011),

i still not having enough courage to study consistently..

actually i dun really have fear towards exam,

but i'm always thinking that am i able to be a safe doctor for my patient?

am i a competent doctor?

sometimes i felt that it is really big responsible that i need to face in future..

am i ready for it?

am i ready to sacrifice my energy and time for the sake of my job?

all these things make me scared..

sometimes it really hard for me..

sometimes i even think to the extend why i choose this profession?

even worse i think about changing profession..

but i know it is not worth if i change right now..

it's too late..

i always remind myself..dun ever feel regret for whatever you have chosen..

just go on with ur life..

everybody can be a doctor..

but make sure u become a SAFE and COMPETENT doctor..

in order to make it..

u need to study..theory is also important plus good clinical skills..

believes that u can do it!!!

post viral fever..

i dunno why..

after day 9 of fever..

i still feel malaise and bodyache..

fever on and off..still have cough with sputum..

i'm very tired facing all these things..

i can't focus to my study..

weakness all over..

my mind not competent to study during this period..

i sleep a lot especially after taking medication..

there are so many things left behind..

i have many assignment to do..

i just want to be healthy..

FLORIA 2010

ni la antara gambar gi floria aritu

still~

hurm..today i'm still having fever,cough,runny nose

plus myalgia and really lethargic..

forgot to ask for MC..

but it's ok la..

although not so many things i did today..

but i managed to performed IM antitetanus toxoid injection..

feel more confident after that..

i ask one of my friend to trace my fbc result..

today platelet rise to 258..

that's good..

no need to take blood anymore..

Hb 13.5 , WCC 9.3

hope everything will ok..

i want to get well soon..

i can't bear it anymore

week that full of sickness~

urm.this was very unpleasant for me..

to study in this condition..

it was really hard..

it was really terrible..

but i managed to go through..

with fever,runny nose, cough..

plus dizziness, chills, myalgia and arthralgia..

really painful everytime i move..

i can't believed that i didn't take any MC for that..

i'm very stubborn..

until he forced me to go to A&E..

i'm scared to see doctor..hahaha

funny right?

i'm scared thinking what doctor will do on me..

finally i go there with him..

thanks to him..

well..i'm so scared when the nurse said blood need to be taken..

branula pink..ouch..it's painful..haha..

but only little pain..hehe

then do CXR TRO PTB since i cough out blood streak sputum..

a little bit changes but i think it's fine

then go to pharmacy to take medication..

trace the result on the next day..

RP normal since i drink a lot of plain water

FBC..platelet drop a bit..142

but it's still ok..

another FBC be taken to monitor the progression

i think everything is fine..

i hope this fever will go away..

is it really wrong not to have it???

well..

last nite i had made a decision..

that really will affected my daily life..

the issue here is to have "STUDY GROUP" or not?

actually..

since first year..

i didn't join any study group..

becoz i'm not used to it..

so..

during my final year..

i'm scared that i'll not survive alone..

the,i joined a study group consist of 8 person..

sounds too many,right?

initially..

i felt like force to do it..

i keep talking to myself to adapt with them..

they would like to do daily study group..

usually stat at 8 / 9.15 pm..

and it usually ends at 11.30 / 12..

it's really time consuming..

i dun know why i feel like that..

at last..

after asking his opinion..

he said " dun force urself if u can't after trying for 7 weeks"

just quit it and study alone..

i dunno why it's really hard for me to adapt with others style..

1. sometimes i really slow to understand what they discuss..

2. sometimes i'm too fast till i feel why others still dun understand?haha

3. too many interruption..everyone want to talk

4. i can't read note that prepared by others becoz i didn't believes where is their source

5. it is really dragging and time consuming

6. i'm not really remember if i listen to their presentation unless i read it myself, so it is double work for me..

7. i dun like to wait for others..punctuality is very important for me..

8. sometimes i just dun understand why they still want to clarify simple thing that they can easily find in google

9. i dun like when i feel confuse after discussion for the things that i really understand before

10. i dun understand why they take things too complicated while i'm only look it as a simple thing

11. and i feel sorry for those who can't catch up us

enough rite my reason?hahaha

u are complaining too much..

urm..RM144.00

i dun know why..

i feel it is very expensive..

144 only for lens..

if it is in sungai besar..

it will be onyl half from that..

and i only do multicoated lens..

i want transition lens..

but here is very expensive..

if in sungai besar..

i can get frameless spec + transition lens = RM300

but here the cheapest is RM500++

oh no..suddenly i really miss my hometown..

if i can,

i want to go back to sungai besar..

unfortunately..

i'm not going back next week..

becoz of MECCA..

so i need to do spec here..

as i always had headache..

i want to share something..

before i decide to spec in optical88..

i went to england optical and focus point..

at england optical..

hurmm..it takes at least 3-4 days..

i can only pick up by thursday or friday..

the prices RM150++

at focus point..

the fastest only by monday..

the price RM150++ also..

but i ask for transition lens

it cost RM600..expected la..

it is double price..huhu

i show my broken spec..

i said that it is transition lens..

the promoter didn't trust me

she ask her fren to confirm it..

and then she shock after i'm telling that it cost only RM300 for lens and frame..

besides,she keep persuading me not to use frameless..

so what?

ilove frameless..

so just let me..

it is my money..

she keep showing me the half framed

then she ask me to buy the branded spec

i insist that i dun want becoz i'm student

i dun have such amount of money just for spec..

then..i left the shop..

till i found optical88

i love it becoz it only takes one hour..

the moral of the story..

LOVE YOUR SIGHT~

a pleasure weekend but..............

last nite i slept late..

not so late la..

it's only 2am..

i was watching ILUSI online at tv3.com.my

well,i love this series..

i dun know why..

i always think that i had experienced what she had gone through..

sometimes i will feel i'm the luckiest one..

but sometimes, i really hate this what we called "ESP"

to be safe and comfortable to live my life..

i had suppress it..

really suppress it till i almost forgotten it..

but still..i will have some dreams on what will happened in future..

but sometimes i dunno whether it is true or not..

so just wait n see..

when the time comes,

i know that it's true..

BUT..

i felt guilty becoz i dun study last nite..

in the evening i went to my cousin house in puchong..

then in the nite i watch the series..

then i slept late and woke up late..

and this morning i feel very lazy to study..

i really love this "COMFORT ZONE"

plz nisah..

get out from your comfort zone..

no sense of belonging~

ermm...should i say it directly?

well..after almost a year with them..

i still dun have sense of belonging to them..

yeah it true that i'm only belong to myself..

but afterall..we still dun develop "rapport"

and afterall..i feel it is useless..

how should i say?

sometimes i feel it is really wasted..

i know it is good to revise all the knowledge that u have..

but if everytime is repeatition,

somehow i felt very boring and dun want to listen anymore..

it is true that sometimes i just skip it..

but most of the time i really can't make it..

it is not benefit for me although it gives benefit to others..

i dun feel free to talk..

you say that we all like "family"

but in reality..you make the gap..

until this moment..

i feel "detach" from u all..

not even attaching..

should i continue?or should i stop?

if i stop, there will be BIG controversy..

my story will be HOT as usual..

u all loves to talks about me..

eventhough u not mention..

but be caution..i can read and know what is in ur heart and ur mind..

each one of u..no one can escape..hahaha..

but becoz i can feel it..i feel uncomfortable to all of u..

u look really hypocrite to me..

dun pretend!!!

i really hate that..

i'm sorry that i know u are pretending..

last day~

hari secara rasminya tamat O&G

punye la malas

tapi aku tetap pg wad

clerk patient..

amik darah..

pastu examine patient wtih breech..

clerk patient APH with cervical ectropion

then clerk case unstable lie

tetibe aku rasa mcm cuak..

at the end of the posting

mcm byk je lagi yang aku tak tau

rasa mcm lg banyak belajar

lagi aku tak pandai

ish3..apa nak jadi ni..

hope everything will fine:):)

result exam end posting o&g

tadi ada postmortem exam..

punyala aku risau nk tido mlm td xleh sbb pk lulus ke x..

alhamdulillah..lulus..

MCQ pass

OSCE pass quite well

counseling pass

but i know i can do better..

cuma sebab terlalu nervous..

membuatkan aku jadi thought block..

ada certain things xingat..

pas abes masa baru ingat..

tula exam punya penangan..

you should work harder..

you should be more confident..

believe that u can do it..

bersyukurnya aku padaMu..

disebabkan hari ni aku anhedonia..

jadi aku telah buat benda2 yang xberfaedah..

tapi benda2 xberfaedah ini telah buat aku reflect diri aku balik..

antara benda2 xberfaedah yang aku da buat ialah..

aku pegi tengok gambar kawan2 aku dekat Fb..

nauzubillah..

semoga aku dijauhkan daripada segala benda seperti itu..

bagaikan tidak percaya..

melihat ada sahabat yang dulu bertudung kini rambut nya bebas untuk dilihat sesiapa..

sedih tatkala aku melihat gambar2 itu..

ada juga yang dulu naqibah waktu aku sekolah..

yang dulunya selalu memberi nasihat ke arah kebaikan..

tapi kini..

hanya berbaju lengan pendek..

berbaju ketat..

tudung diselempang sehingga terdedah dada..

begitu drastik perubahannya..

malah aku bertambah sedih melihat akak usrah aku..

yang dulunya pakaiannya tertutup..tapi kini..

tudung labuh entah hilang ke mana

hinggakan tudung terdedah dada..

bukanlah aku hendak mengata atau mempersoalkan orang lain..

tapi ternyata mnusia itu bisa berubah bila2 masa sahaja..

yang menyedihkan lagi pabila orang itu adalah org yg aku hormati dan sanjungi

alhamdulillah..

aku masih dikelilingi sahabat yang sentiasa menegur aku jika pakaian ku dirasakan tidak sesuai..

dia juga sering memberi pendapat dlm pemilihan bajuku..

aku masih punya keluarga yang menitik beratkan pemaikaian yang sopan..

kesimpulannya..memang sume tu bergantung pada diri sendiri..

tapi sedikit sebanyak orang disekeliling kita mempengaruhi cara kita berpakaian..

kadangkala..aku hampir tergoda dengan hasutan syaitan..

timbul di dalam hati ku ingin berpakaian mengikut trend skg..

contohnya selendang yg mcm2 design dan corak..

aku amat tertarik..

tapi hanya akan ku pakai selendang sekiranya aku jumpa selendang yg cukup besar..

kadangkala..teringin juga ingin memakai kebaya..

tapi..keburukannya sungguh banyak..

lalu aku padamkan hasrat itu..

aku selesa dengan pakaianku sekarang..

aku bersyukur kerna telah dididik begini..

namun kadangkala aku terasa hati..

ada segelintir orang menegur pakaianku..

katanya aku bertambah seksi sekarang..

cerminlah diri anda dulu sebelum menegur aku

bukan aku tidak mahu menerima teguran..

tapi aku merasakan pakaian aku sudah cukup sopan..

malah jauh lebih sopan dari dia yang menegurku..

susah kita mahu berkata..

setiap orang punya persepsi yang berbeza..

tapi setelah aku tanya pendapat sahabat2 yang lain..

masing2 mengatakan aku tidak pernah berpakaian seksi..

apa yg ku pakai sudah cukup sopan..

semoga Allah memberi aku istiqamah dalam melakukan kebaikan..

semoga sahabatku diberikan hidayah untuk berjuang menutup aurat..

apala aku merapu malam2 ni..

tula..anhedonia punya pasal..

sekarang aku nak bersemangat balik..

malas2 ni hasutan syaitan..

aku kena berjihad untuk melawan perasaan ini..

Allahuakbar!!!

FLORIA 2010

BERTEMAKAN Keindahan Tropika, Festival Bunga & Taman Putrajaya (Floria) 2010 pada 10 Julai hingga 18 Julai ini dijangka mendapat sambutan menggalakkan.

Bertempat di Pesisiran Tasik, Presint 2, Putrajaya, festival berkenaan menyaksikan pameran koleksi heliconia (bunga sepit udang) antara terbesar pernah diadakan dalam suasana taman.

Malah, bunga berkenaan turut mewarnai setiap sudut Floria 2010 seperti di zon floral alley, floral avenue, gerbang bunga, meadow, taman permainan kanak-kanak dan taman penggiat dan penanam bunga heliconia atau di zon festival.

Floria 2010 dianjurkan Perbadanan Putrajaya dengan sokongan Kementerian Wilayah Persekutuan dan Kesejahteraan Bandar.

Presiden Perbadanan Putrajaya, Tan Sri Samsudin Osman, berkata festival itu adalah kesinambungan Floria 2007 dan 2009 yang penuh warna warni.

Beliau berkata, Floria 2010 menggambarkan kecantikan alam semula jadi yang diserikan dengan pelbagai bunga-bungaan yang unik dalam suasana taman sebenar.

Antara tarikan lain Floria 2010 ialah taman pameran reka bentuk terkini arkitek landskap dari dalam dan luar negara.

Sementara itu, pavilion bunga berhawa dingin dijangka menarik perhatian pengunjung. Merangkumi laman heliconia eksotik, laman antarabangsa, laman Twilight, arca bunga, hiasan meja makan, dinding flora, sudut pereka dan pameran lukisan cat air heliconia. "Buat pertama kali, laman Twilight menggunakan kesan penataan cahaya," katanya.

Bazar Taman pula menawarkan pelbagai kelengkapan taman termasuk perabot dan tanaman hiasan yang menarik.

Tidak ketinggalan laman seni yang menjadi sudut khas kepada pencinta seni lukisan dan kraf. Penyertaan antarabangsa pula dijangka menjadi tumpuan pengunjung dengan penghasilan reka bentuk taman dan bunga-bungaan kreatif.

Pameran dibuka dari jam 9 pagi hingga 10 malam (Isnin hingga Khamis) dan 9 pagi hingga 12 tengah malam (Jumaat hingga Ahad).

Oleh Hartini Mohd Nawi

tini@hmetro.com.my

2010/07/03

aku pegi pesta bunga ni ngn angah,mak, dina, anum n saiful..

pegi sabtu aritu 17/7/2010..

ni first time aku pegi..

sgt terpesona tengok bunga..

da la aku mmg sgt suke bunga..excited giler

terkhayal aku sebentar..tp bunga tulip xde la..

hahaha..dok berangan nak bunga tulip je..

ak ambik byk gle gmbr bunga..tp nanti2 la aku upload..

yg pasti floria mmg sgt best bg pencinta bunga..

hari2 terakhir posting O&G

pg td ada cpc O&G...

pasal placenta previa with accreta..

tp masa aku sampi je da separuh da..

sbb arini terbangun lewat..

then g OT..

arini memang aku rasa malas je..teruk kan???

aku tengok je la OT..xassist..

tp tgk 3 case je..

tu pun sampi pukul 2..

aku kuar g mkn..

nasib baik aku xtunggu..

OT finish pukul 4..

mau pengsan kelaparan..

the g cover bed as usual..

baru je aku cadang nk balik..

tp tiba2 dengar kena hantar logbook arini..

masa aku tau tu da pukul 4.15ptg..

kelam kabut la aku pegi cari sign doctor..

tula..

sape suruh..sebelum ni tangguh2 mintak sign..

kan da susah..

pastu aku hantar jela walaupun ada yang xsign lg.

then aku balik je la bilik..

odw blk terserempak dgn dia..

hehe..susah benar nk jumpa bile da final year..

esok ada postmortem exam..huhu..cuaknyer

apala aku merapu time exam tuh..huhu

hope everything will fine..

i love to learn O&G..

and i love more if we have more teaching..

pejam celik pejam celik..

bagaikan xpercaya aku kini berada di penghujung posting O&G..

banyak pengalaman dan ilmu yg diperolehi sepanjang posting ini..

menambahkan keyakinan diri..

tapi..

dalam fikiran aku masih ada persoalan..

mampukah aku menjadi seorang doktor yang kompeten?

persoalan itu sering kali bermain di fikiranku..

apa yang penting adalah usaha kita sendiri..

aku sgt berharap aku lulus exam tadi..

supaya keyakinan diri aku bertambah..

semalam exam teori..

yg aku ingat pasal abdominal pain,bleeding in pregnancy, HRT, HIV,syphilis, management

pastu tadi osce

dapat pasal CTG and partogram

pastu confirm diagnosis of menopause and counseling on HRT

boleh la jugak perform..

cuma xperfect je la..huhu

harap2 lulus..

emotionally unstable~

i really need time for myself..

i'm tired..

i'm exhausted..

i'm burn out..

i'm stressssssssssssss!!!

i want to enjoy my life..

plz dun suffer..

u choose ur life..

get rid all the stressor!!!!!